Have you ever thought that birth really shouldn’t be like this? That our first thoughts and feelings about birth shouldn’t be related to pain and fear? How would it feel to know that if that is what we are focusing on, we are seriously missing out?

I want to let you know that you are overthinking the pain in childbirth and YOU are creating the fear that you feel… Harsh? Yes.

But I am sick and tired of hypnobirthing being sold as a solution to the pain of childbirth and that being the biggest benefit to it…

THIS IS NOT WHAT HYPNOBIRTHING IS ABOUT.

And I am sick of half soaked hypnobirthing programmes promising you the holy grail of births and making women feel like failures when they don’t ‘achieve’ the births of their dreams.

We need to wake up!

Birth is a lot more than just pain – like waaaaaay more – and if you are focusing on just that then YOU are missing out.

I’m not saying it’s always a walk in the park, I am not saying that it is always straightforward – it’s more often than not the total opposite of both of those, but it IS meant to be transformational.

Did you hear that and really feel the impact of that?

Birth is designed to be TRANSFORMATIONAL.

Whether you believe that we were created by God, are descendants of Zork the alien or that we were once ocean creatures who morphed into land creatures (and went on to become apes) it doesn’t really matter. The fact is that as a female of the human species, you are designed to create and destined to mother.

The BIG, BIG picture is that nature wants us to procreate and to continue the human race. If we don’t do this, it is at risk of becoming extinct. That is why most women (and men) have a huge drive to create a family and to love, nurture, protect and connect with their offspring.

It’s our primal instinct.

But where is it all going wrong? Why are we so fixated with the pain side of labour when there is so much more on offer here? Why are we allowing our fears to interfere with our destiny?

Once your baby is born your primal instincts will become heightened, your need to strive and survive will become paramount. Ensuring your newborn has enough of everything to ensure his/her protection and survival will become your primary concern. This is most likely the first time you will have ever felt the draw towards the protection and survival of another human being so, so, so intensely. This is what is meant to happen. This is how we ensure survival of our race.

Are you still with me?

This side of you which has always been there but feels new to you, introduces you to the WELL.

It is that well, deep down inside of you, which is going to be exposed and opened once you have your child (please note I am not talking about conventional, conscious bonding here which can happen at different times for everyone). This is a part of you which you haven’t yet met or encountered.

Having a child opens up a whole new world of opportunities and possibilities. I guess for centuries most people would have invested in and projected those opportunities and possibilities onto their child, but it’s a new beginning for you as well.

A period in time where you can recognise your strengths and your abilities, motherhood is a time when you are supposed to feel immeasurable.

The tragedy here is that many women don’t get the opportunity to tune into this side of themselves because they are suffering from very real traumatic experiences often created by society’s belief about pain and fear in childbirth, exacerbated by lack of appropriate support or connection – and further intensified by the environment many of us find ourselves in during labour and birth.

But if we stop overthinking the pain, stop fearing the experience and tune into the BIG picture birth can become so much more than an experience we need to grin and bear.

It’s not about you – it IS you.

This is where hypnobirthing comes into it all. It’s not just a method to reduce pain (although that is an added benefit of it of course) – it’s a concept which will help you to expose your power and strength, enable you to tune into the mammalian side of you (or perhaps it is your inner alien or spiritual guide) and that is meant to start with birth.

It doesn’t have to be perfect and pain free (I wish this would STOP being the driving force to do hypnobirthing). However your birth plays out, that well will open up if you let it. Positive births allow women to connect to themselves and begin the TRANSFORMATIVE start to parenthood.

Forget the pain. Forget the fear. Look beyond all that and prepare for the birth of a child, a mother and another side of you.